The conference Transformations: The Healing Power of Tango came to a close and I left Berlin with a feeling I was not expecting: a sense of belonging.

I was prepared for a brainy conference, and I knew that keynotes and talks were intermixed with workshops about yoga, mindfulness, contact improv, circling, and even craniosacral therapy.

These workshops were, for me, the main attraction.

The question I took to Berlin was how they would link all those disciplines to tango. And I was anticipating responses like “this can be used in tango”, or “tango has elements of this and that”.

How little I knew.

My answer came straight from the non-verbal realm.

It emerged in a field of deep breathing, slow movements, and intentional gestures of giving and receiving.

We were co-regulating.

Moving from fear and separation to holding hands, from solo attendees to community, from “let me introduce myself” to embracing.

That’s where the connection with tango happened.

Co-regulation can be defined as a dynamic process in which two or more people lead each other to a calm and grounded state. There is extensive literature about this.

The journalist Marina Khidekel helps us here with an example: “If you’ve ever felt like anxiety or anger or any other big emotion had you spinning out of control—and then a friend’s calm, steady vibes helped bring you back to Earth—you’ve experienced co-regulation”.

In the circling workshop, Carlo Carcano led a ritual that started with presence and created an inner and a group sense of safety. If only we had got more time!

Andrew Wass guided a contact improv session where we played with balance, weight and touch. Besides classes, that was the only ‘tango’ I have ever danced with Veronica Toumanova.

Kristina McFadden took us on an exquisite sensory trip where we gave each other treats of soft touching and caressing with prompts like feathers and aromatic oils.

In all those exercises, principles and rules were agreed upon. Boundaries and a principle of free participation were set.

We could have had a workshop simply called “Tango”, where participants may have been invited to music, touch, intimacy and surrender. But we already had evening milongas for that…

And that’s my point.

In tango, as Veronica put it in a Facebook post, that is THE WHOLE POINT.

What heals us is the connection with ourselves and then to others. The first connection is to oneself: someone has to be at home! Only then, another can be welcomed.

Name the framework: circling, animal play, performing art, yoga, contact improv, mindfulness. And tango.

In Berlin, in all those fields, we were connecting.

With precise facilitation (and music), our nervous system moved from alert to relaxation, and from trauma to trust. We moved from being alone to being together.

Three days were enough to make a bond and forge a different way to see and talk about tango.

This conference was loaded with medicine.

That’s why, even after several days, rippling effects persist. That’s why, I realised, tango can be so addictive.

My system tasted what it can be, and it wants more of that.

Stay attuned
Jesus Acosta

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I love Yelizaveta’s podcast Tango Banter, and on this episode, her guest Caroline Tell Falk shares her journey into Argentine tango and how it helped her cope with the social isolation and emotional challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic. She also talks about her challenges dealing with menopause and kids growing up and moving away. She describes how tango provided a sense of connection, co-regulation, and healing through touch and music.

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